A contributed perspectives piece by E.K. Knappenberger
In this era of political violence and Trumpian self-aggrandizement, we ought to look to what it means to be a good citizen right here at home.
As Harrisonburg’s self-proclaimed public intellectual, I have taken the liberty of suggesting a new award for those exceptional citizens of Harrisonburg who have made our city such a great place to live.
Unlike a bulky, gaudy key to the city, the honorary title “Harrisonburger” can be conferred as a way to say “well done.”
It honors both the German-American heritage of our town (see also: so-called Liberty Street) as well as the fine cuisine offered in our locale.
Who is eligible for this happy honor? I have here a little list…
- Just Jazzin’, the Valley’s Big Band. 25 years of free music to benefit the community and you’re still swingin’! Nobody hits the nursing home circuit like you guys!
- The Funny Womacks. Everyone loves some friendly city standup comedy! And remember, a polite embarrassed laugh is still a laugh.
- School board members who did not get fined thousands of dollars, post unredacted videos of high school girls fighting in the bathroom to make cheap political points, and claim to be victims of political witch hunts. Congrats on being responsible adults.
- All former (but not current) employees of Eastern Mennonite University and Bridgewater College: you knew better than to take the job, but you did it anyway. Congrats on making peace with life’s disappointments.
- Any party to a JMU SADAH (School of Art and Design and Art History — pronounced like “Sodom” without the m,) internal restraining order. You stood up for right against your students / coworkers / tinder matches for the sake of your art. Now you suffer conscientiously at every gallery opening. Don’t worry I’ll take the side exit.
- Anyone who successfully sat through a city council meeting without interrupting, yawning loudly, or entering a medical coma. You’re a better man than me.
- Whoever wrote the Marsha Garst-is-the-Punisher Novels on Amazon. Come forward and claim your prize, if you dare!
- Sofia Samatar. She doesn’t believe that I am her biggest fan. Hi Sofia, I loved your letters in the Citizen.
By honoring the best among us, we can inspire future generations of Harrisonburgers to solve the problems of tomorrow. We might even someday come to understand why it is so difficult to turn left in this town. For the future!
E.K. Knappenberger is the author of many important letters to the editor, and married into the Harrisonburgeoise.