Author: The Elderly Aunt
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The Elderly Aunt, Contributor
Hey Elderly Aunt, help me convince my husband to stop driving (half) blind
Dear Elderly Aunt, My husband’s eyesight is getting worse. I’m no longer comfortable being a passenger in the car with him and have told him so. I do the driving when we both go places. But he still gets behind the wheel to drive himself into town. This is making me more nervous, but his license doesn’t expire for another 18 months, and he keeps saying he’ll be OK until then. I don’t want to just hide the keys, so how would you suggest I firmly but delicately address this issue with him?
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Hey Elderly Aunt, should a virtual romance move to the real world in a pandemic?
So there’s this guy. I think I like him. But we’ve only talked on “virtual” dates over the past three months. You know, the whole pandemic and all. The conversations have been good, but sometimes get awkward. I can’t tell if that’s because of the screens between us, the newness of the relationship, or a less-than-ideal chemistry. I’d like to meet up in person, but that would require some travel for one or both of us …
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Hey Elderly Aunt, how do I handle my granny’s guilt trips about not visiting her in a pandemic?
Dear Elderly Aunt: My grandmother, who is in her late 80s, has been on me for weeks about us coming to visit her two states away. Now she’s really laying on the guilt, especially when it comes to seeing our kids, who are both under the age of four …
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Hey Elderly Aunt, is it time for the nation to get a divorce?
There are two large segments (~ 40% each) of the U.S.A. population that want two completely different kinds of government. Their interests can’t be reconciled because compromise is no longer an option … Isn’t it time to discuss a divorce from ourselves; however complicated and messy that may be?
Hey Elderly Aunt, how can we safely celebrate our co-worker before she leaves for a new job?
A friend and coworker accepted a new job in a different city and will be leaving Harrisonburg soon. In the time of social distancing, what’s the best way for us to honor her before she leaves? There are more than 10 of us in this department, so the usual party isn’t feasible and simply doing a virtual card seems inadequate. Any ideas would be wonderful.
Hey Elderly Aunt, how do we break it to our families that we’re goin’ to the courthouse — not the chapel?
Dear Elderly Aunt, My long-time boyfriend and I have decided to get married! We had planned to do it eventually, but with the coronavirus and all, we decided there was no reason to delay. Especially since we didn’t care about having a big fancy wedding. Our only concern is about how to break the news to our families. While we would have wanted a city hall ceremony even in a non-crisis, how do we reassure them that this is the right decision for us?
Hey Elderly Aunt, how do I respond when people tell me to pick up after my dog when there’s nothing to pick up
Dear Elderly Aunt — What is it with people in this town yelling at me about cleaning up after my dog? Three times in the last week, someone has opened their front door and demanded that I pick up non-existent poop! I have a female dog, so she squats to do No. 1. and No. 2. But I know the difference between her postures and can’t clean up what isn’t there! Do I pretend to do it regardless? Do I yell back? I am starting to lose patience with my so-called “neighbors.” What happened to giving people the benefit of the doubt?
Hey Elderly Aunt, how do I help my sister who might be quarantining with a verbally abusive girlfriend?
Dear Elderly Aunt, My sister has been living with her girlfriend for nearly a year. I went out with them in public a few times. That was back when we could all go out. They seemed to get along fine. But my sister, let’s call her “Jane,” has been making comments to me since the quarantine began that suggest her girlfriend can be verbally abusive. Maybe it’s just stress of being around each other 24-7. I’ve asked her point blank if she feels threatened and she emphatically said no. But I worry that Jane is in a damaging relationship and might not realize it. What should I do or can I do?
