Tag: Elderly Aunt

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Hey Elderly Aunt, is my adult daughter pushing me away?

Hi Elderly Aunt, I’ve really enjoyed reading your responses to so many varied questions. And while I didn’t think I’d ever be writing one myself, here I am in a bit of a quandary. I am a single lady of a certain age, long divorced with one adult daughter. She and I have enjoyed a close relationship since she moved back to the Valley after college several years ago. We would meet up for lunch or coffee almost every week and text frequently in between visits. But in recent weeks, she’s either been unable to meet up or had to cancel our lunches and has been slow to text in response. I have asked if everything’s okay. She says she’s just been busy. But I can’t help but notice a chill in her voice. She seems reluctant to tell me many details of what’s happening in her life, and I’m trying not to sound like I’m prying. I remember reading in one of your past responses that you’re a mother of an adult daughter. Any advice for a fellow mom who just wants to restore and maintain a healthy relationship with her daughter?

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Hey Elderly Aunt, how do I know if I’m really a cat person?

Elderly Aunt: I just adopted a cat two months ago. She’s a friendly cat. She gets on my lap and she seems to like being around me. But since I brought her home, she’s had a series of health problems requiring two rather pricey vet visits (three trips in all), and she’s scratched up my couch and stuffed chair. I know having pets are a lot of work and being responsible for them costs money, but the last two months have already busted my budget, which was precarious to begin with. Because I adopted this cat, am I morally obligated to keep her even if it means going into debt? Or does doing the best thing for both of us mean accepting that this arrangement isn’t going to work out and finding someone who can better handle her and her medical costs?

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Hey Elderly Aunt, how can I get people to call me by my name?

I have always gone by my full name, Jennifer. It’s what family members call me. It’s what my friends call me. It’s what my coworkers in my department call me. But for some reason coworkers in another department that I frequently work with have begun referring to me as “Jen” in emails and sometimes in person …

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Hey Elderly Aunt, Is it time for a gift-giving truce?

Hey Elderly Aunt: What kind of gift do you get for a family member who has everything and doesn’t need any more stuff? Is it appropriate to just call for a gift-giving truce and not exchange things?

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Elderly Aunt: How to solve a problem with neighbors? Peanuts.

We’ve lived in our house for about two years, but we only know our neighbors who live next to us on the right. We don’t even know the names of our neighbors on the other side of us, although we wave to each other. It’s friendly but awkward. It seems that it’s long past the time when we should have introduced ourselves. What advice do you have for ways we can break the ice with our nearby neighbors even though we let that ice thicken over the last two years?

Hey Elderly Aunt, I’m tired of politics, so should I send a message by not voting?

Hey Elderly Aunt, I’m so tired of politics on all levels. I read your response to a reader about how to find news we can trust. It was fine advice, but I’m not sure why it matters anymore. Politicians are going to lie, so what’s the point of spending so much energy on them? And I know I’m not alone, based on conversations with my friends. Wouldn’t it send a clearer message about our collective frustration if we all chose not to vote?

Hey Elderly Aunt, how do I turn my frown upside down?

Hey Elderly Aunt, I’m trying to do a better job of managing my sad emotions and engaging in “positive thinking.” Any suggestions?

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